I wish everyone would stop destroying themselves. We all do it though, whether it's visible or not. It breaks my heart to see other people do it though. Especially when I am so emotionally invested in whoever it is. Why do so many people have to do this?
I've been fighting with myself about whether I'd rather be completely non-existent, like, God never created me, or live. I still don't know. If He never made me, I wouldn't even know. I wouldn't even be an issue, there would be no I. Now that I am alive; however, I see a handful of beautiful things. I lied. Many beautiful things. If I weren't here, how do I prove that certain people would be ok without me? I hate to think of living as being a DUTY to people I care about. When you deeply love, though, you're supposed to be willing to do anything for who you love. The most common idea that that idea brings up is "dying for someone." Yeah, of course we should be willing to die for them, but you must include living for them as well. Deep love. Not love, deep, true, and real hardcore love. It's one thing that I'm actually pretty amazing at. Now I'm sounding full of myself, I'm not, I promise.
